


Misguided Ghosts

by BatSuitCrazy (McDanno50)



Category: Suits - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, First Time, Gen, M/M, Pining, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-08-07
Updated: 2011-09-28
Packaged: 2017-10-22 07:59:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/235872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McDanno50/pseuds/BatSuitCrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike knew the mock trial would change his life, but to what extent?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own 'Suits', the characters and general plot of the show all belong to their respectful owners. It was not my intention to offend anyone by the writing of this story. This multi-chapter story is Unbeta'd so please forgive any mistakes you may read.  
> First and foremost: I accidently clicked on the "Delete" option when I tried to update the story, and I very much clicked "Cancel" but this stupid thing deleted my work! I'm so angry!! Grrr. So much for the comments you guys made. Feel free to drop a line to make me feel better :D Anyways, sorry for the mishap.  
> I've also changed the title from "To Be or Not To Be" to "Misguided Ghosts" which is an amazing song by Paramore. I feel that this title relates well with the story because the song fits Mike in a lot of ways.  
> Spoilers for 1x07: Play the Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike makes a decision that changes everything.

_“A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one.” ~Rita Mae Brown_

It has been three days since the disastrous mock trial. Three days since he managed to single-handedly disappoint everyone he works with. Sure they mocked him but no more than usual. Mike can handle the jokes and the occasional snide remark. It was the disappointment he saw in Jessica Pearson’s eyes, Donna’s eyes, hell even Louis’ eyes that made him want to vomit. Of course those looks hardly compared to the way Harvey looked at him now. The only person he didn’t seem to let down was Rachel; even though she said she could’ve handled it, he knew better.

Although his boss treated him no differently after losing, Mike would rather Harvey punished him by dropping stacks of legal work on his desk. Papers that would take hours and hours to complete, anything but this cool indifference the older man exuded whenever Mike tried to broach the subject.

He seals the envelope with a sigh. He’s making the right decision. He’s sure of it.

 **※※※**

It’s Friday evening and they’ve just wrapped up another case. When they get back to the office after a celebratory dinner with their client, most of the employees have already gone home. A few stragglers remain as Mike sits at his cubicle typing up a quick e-mail to Donna who won’t read it till Monday morning. When he’s done he grabs what’s left of his stuff and sets the small box next to the elevator. All that’s left is to go speak to Harvey who’s holed up in his office finishing some last minute papers.

When he reaches Harvey’s office Mike considers turning back. But he’s come too far to back down now and he walks through the open door after a brief tap on the glass. The older man doesn’t even look up.

He takes a moment to look out the glass and take in the skyline. It was dark now, stars invisible because of all the lights Manhattan has to offer, the city that never sleeps indeed. The view is simply breathtaking and he’s surprised that he hasn’t noticed until now.

“You were right.” Mike says in way of greeting.

“I usually am but which particular subject am I right about this time?” Harvey asks casually.

It’s unnerving to the associate how his boss has yet to look at him. He wasn’t expecting the moment to be any deeper than their usual conversations but he still wished Harvey would have the courtesy to look up.

He clears his throat before continuing. “You said I was a kid given an opportunity, a kid who wasn’t sure if he wanted to take that opportunity and do something with it.”

Mike has stopped because he isn’t sure if he can go on. His silence arouses Harvey’s curiosity and the man finally glances up from his desk. “And?”

He reaches into his rumpled suit to pull out the envelope he sealed a week ago. The muscles in his hand threaten to seize up as he tosses it onto Harvey’s desk. It lands with an unceremonious flop. “I’m sure now,” he forces out. At Harvey’s confused look at the envelope now in his right hand, Mike explains: “Consider it my resignation letter.”

The older man throws down the envelope as if the paper burned him. “You’re giving up? Just like that?”

Mike opens up his mouth to answer but what comes out is totally different than what he rehearsed in front of the bathroom mirror. “Jessica already knows; hell, she’s the one that gave me the idea to quit in the first place. You said it yourself, I don’t belong here.”

Harvey leans back in his chair, handsome face betraying nothing. “I’m right when I say you’re wrong about this. You’re letting that mock trial screw with your head, doubting yourself when you should be learning from the experience.”

Mike shrugs. He’s standing in the doorway now, ready to leave this life behind, leave the man he respects and the friend he values behind. “Take care of yourself Harvey.”

And with that silent request, Harvey Specter’s protégé disappears down the dim hallway of Pearson Hardman for the last time.

  **※※※**

He feels like punching someone or throwing something, preferably Mike Ross. He should have tossed the skinny punk out his office window when he had the chance. Now Harvey is sitting at his desk staring at the envelope with serious distaste. He knew it was an inanimate object, but still. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to find his associate and shove that resignation letter up his ass. But even if Harvey did do such a thing, he knew it wouldn’t change Mike’s feelings. The kid was serious, even more so than the time he quit during his first week after failing to convince the (fake) witness into testifying.  

With a weary sigh, he reaches for his silver letter opener and rips into the envelope to take out the handwritten note. It reads:

Harvey,

Before you continue reading this horribly embarrassing letter, you should know that there’s another envelope in your condo. No, I did not break in but I slipped it under your door. I believe the amount inside sufficiently reimburses you from our financial past; including the money you lost when you bet against Louis during the mock trial. I just wish I could say it was worth it.

I know you’re disappointed, not to mention angry at my decision to leave Pearson Hardman, especially after all the sacrifices you’ve made. You gave me the chance for something special. It was a gift really. Even if it didn’t work out, I want you to know that I’m so very grateful to you and everything you’ve done for me since that day we met at the Chilton.

I won’t try to explain what’s going on through my head as I write this letter. All I really know for sure is that I failed you. I failed you, Jessica, and everyone else at the firm. You can laugh if you want when I say that failing my mentor is worse than disappointing my grandmother. To be honest, you’re the cooler older brother I never had. I tried to be like you, I really did, because who wouldn’t want to be like the best closer in the city? It wasn’t enough though. I’ll never be strong like you and all I can say is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said those things to you. They weren’t true. You may be a dick sometimes but you’re still a good person. Maybe like really deep down underneath all those three piece suits. Anyways, I’m sorry that I disappointed you because I lack what it takes to become a great lawyer.

-Mike

 **※※※**   
****

Harvey sets the letter on his desk. He thought Mike understood what he meant the other day after the mock trial but apparently he was mistaken. For the first time in a long time, Harvey Specter was dead wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey goes to confront Mike only to be blindsided again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the next chapter. It's a short one but I did manage to write and post it the same day as the first so I'm proud of myself. Still wish I could've posted it without accidently deleting my work. Oh well.

_“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” ~Flora Whittemore_   
**  
__  
**

It’s Sunday night before Harvey can make himself go over to Mike’s place. He has read the letter so many times that he could recite it backwards. He didn’t know if it was his pride holding him back or stupidity. Either way when he reached his associate’s–he refused to think it was over–apartment, the door was wide open. He’s immediately alert, thinking something has happened to the poor kid.

“Mike?” he calls out. “Are you in there?”

He doesn’t get an answer so he walks inside the small apartment only to see half of Mike’s stuff gone. The rest is in moving boxes. He doesn’t hear anything coming from inside the bathroom but he peaks inside anyway. He’s about to give up and walk out when he runs into Mike in the main doorway.

“Harvey?” the kid asks in shock. “What’re you doing here?”

“I came to see you but your door was open. Thought you’d been kidnapped or something.” Harvey explains.

Mike avoids looking into those eyes, maneuvering around his former boss to get inside his bare apartment. He goes into the kitchen where he pulls out a mug from an open box. One always packs the kitchen and bathroom last. “No I’m still here.”

“Not for long apparently,” Harvey mumbles almost bitterly.

The ceramic cup slips from Mike’s fingers, falling into the empty sink with a loud resounding clang. He doesn’t bother to retrieve it. He braces himself against the sink, refusing to look at the older man. “What? Oh…yeah. Uh, an old college buddy offered me a job.”

Harvey felt a knot beginning to form in his empty stomach. How long has Mike been planning to leave him? It’s only been two days for Christ’s sake. “That was quick. And here I thought the economy was down the tubes.”

Mike bites back a sigh. He really doesn’t want to deal with this. He shouldn’t have to explain himself to Harvey anymore because he quit. He quit the one job that felt right even if it wasn’t most of the time. Still, it’s better to get over this awkward hump so they can both move on. “Actually he asked me a couple of weeks ago and I turned him down. He said the offer was always on the table so I called him up and said yes.”

Harvey nods although Mike can’t see because he still hasn’t looked up from the floor. “You’re not going back to selling pot are you?”

“That was a onetime deal Harvey!” Mike growls, glaring up at his former boss with hurt in his eyes.  

Harvey grins. “I know.”

“Just trying to get one last rise out of me, huh?” Mike shook his head. He should’ve known Harvey would bring that up.

“Why does it have to be the last?” Harvey blurts. Mike’s words had finally sunk in and he didn’t like where this was going.

Silence washes over them. It should be awkward seeing as how Harvey has never indicated that he and Mike were friends or anything else outside of the workplace, but it wasn’t. It was such an honest question that Mike’s chest began to hurt for the man who had everything but nothing at all.

He opens his mouth to make a joke out of it but decides to go with the truth, something he feels that Harvey deserves after everything. “I’m moving to Chicago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me for the cliffy!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it's one blow after another for the great Harvey Specter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it has been a long time since I've updated this story. I felt as if I should take a break from all the angst and try something lighter and dare I say it: fluffy. However, my twisted mind couldn't stay away forever! Alas!! The next chapter to Misguided Ghosts.

_“Some persons are very decisive when it comes to avoiding decisions.”  ~Brendan Francis_ **__**

Harvey felt as if the world stopped spinning when Mike’s four little words sank deep into his mind and heart. It was the most cliché he has ever felt and he’d rather kiss Louis than feel _this_ again. This abject reaction to news that should be inconsequential is anything but. Harvey Specter has actually been stunned to silence.

It takes him a moment to find his voice and when he finally does speak, it’s with that cocky self-assurance that defines his reputation. “What about your grandmother?”

Mike smiled but it lacked true emotion. “I was going to bring her with me, I _want_ to bring her with me, but the doctors say she isn’t well enough to be undergoing any major changes.”

“And you don’t think her only grandchild moving hundreds of miles away isn’t a major change?” Harvey asks harshly. He feels bad about Mike’s grandmother; the kid hasn’t said anything about her being ill until now. It doesn’t really matter anyway, he’s too angry at Mike to offer any sort of compassion. 

“I know that Harvey,” Mike retorts just as severely. “Jesus, you don’t think I know what this move could do to her? This new job is the only way I’m going to be able to pay for her care. My buddy flies to New York a lot and he says I can come with him. I’ll be able to see her twice a month.”

Harvey couldn’t help but deflate a little at seeing the young man pace the small apartment like a caged animal. It seemed as if Mike was still trying to convince himself to leave his life in Manhattan behind. He opens his mouth to try and fix things, like he’s _supposed_ to, but only a small sigh escapes.

Mike stops pacing at the sound from his former boss; he turns to see the older man standing solemnly by the door. Harvey looks so out of place inside his shitty apartment that it makes him chuckle. He begins to laugh harder when Harvey starts looking worried enough to call a mental hospital for his lost associate. The whole situation was just too unreal. Who knew Harvey Specter was actually capable of stepping inside a place without marble floors and great Manhattan views?

He manages to settle down long enough to hear Harvey call out his name. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “You just look so funny standing there.”

“I’m glad I amuse you,” Harvey huffs. “So when do you leave?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.” Two words, each a punch to Harvey’s gut.

He makes a noncommittal noise, slowly backing out of Mike’s apartment to avoid any more sensations he’s not used to feeling. “Well, I think I’ve had my fair share of emotion tonight. I wish you luck Mike. Call Donna when you land in Chicago…just so she knows you arrived safely.”

Mike shakes his head with a sly grin. Donna wasn’t going to be the one worrying tomorrow, whether or not he makes it to Illinois in one piece is all that Harvey will be able to think about and they both know it. Still, he decides to let it go. He decides to let Harvey go. “I will. Goodnight Harvey.”

The older man lifts his hand in a waving gesture before disappearing out of the apartment and away from Mike.

 **※※※** ****

Harvey ignored the way it felt to walk into work without stopping by Mike’s cubicle. These past months with the kid have left him weak and Harvey Specter doesn’t do weak. That word isn’t even in his very extensive vocabulary.

People tried talking to him but he went straight into his office and closed the glass door, ignoring Donna’s look of sympathy. The morning hours passed by agonizingly slow without having his associate barging into his office asking all sorts of inane questions. If this was what it felt like before he hired Mike, Harvey should be concerned at his actual lack of social interaction–not including his clients–throughout the workday.

It was nearing four o’ clock when the phone rang. He had finally opened his door after lunch because he couldn’t stand the closed off feeling he got. He heard Donna answer with the usual chipper but the look on her face was enough to give Harvey pause. She looked angry at first then only sad before finally engaging in conversation. He couldn’t make out specifics but it seemed like things had settled down. It took everything he had to not go out there and demand to know what was going on. It had to be Mike, it just had to be. Who else would be calling that could get Donna so riled up?

Sure enough a few minutes later and Donna made her way into his office.

“That was Mike,” she explains. “He landed safe and sound in Chicago.”

Harvey nodded approvingly. At least his terrible luck hadn’t brought down the plane. “Good.”

“How could you just let him go like that?” Donna asks bluntly.

Harvey sighs, throwing down a folder he had been trying to read. “Well that was fast. Donna, I can’t keep the kid here against his will. Mike’s a grown man, much as I am unconvinced of that fact, and he’s capable of making his own choices.”

His secretary sniffled. For a brief terrifying moment Harvey thought she was going to start crying, truly crying, but she appeared fine. She was seemingly indifferent and nonchalant, not at all fazed by her missing play toy. “His choices suck and we both know it which is why you should’ve…”

“I should have what, huh? Held his hand his whole god damn life?” Harvey’s words were harsher than he intended. He wasn’t angry at Donna or even angry at Mike. He just wanted to be left alone to wallow in silence, not be interrogated by one of the few persons he trusts.

Donna shakes her head, disappointed in her boss and longtime friend. She left his office without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh woe is me, the tormented souls of Pearson Hardman! If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. All mistakes are mine :)

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a slow work-in-progress so don't expect immediate results. I'm trying to be careful in how this story plays out. Thanks for being patient :)


End file.
